


Kickass Siblings

by PaisleyWraith



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-03-28 13:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13904580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaisleyWraith/pseuds/PaisleyWraith
Summary: Kenny and Kyle are stuck in what they think is a loop of unrequited love. Karen wants to get them out of it and Ike just wants to stop having to watch Kyle tear himself apart with stress while he retreats from the world. Between the two of them, they'll figure something out and get these two to realize what mess they've made for themselves.





	1. Making a Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by an anon on Tumblr, who I hope comes off anon so I can credit them for what turned into a multi-chaptered fic.

Ike had a good handful of friends. People he’d tolerate, even if he mostly preferred to be left alone. Acquaintances might actually have been a better description, he couldn’t imagine inconveniencing himself over them too much. They didn’t spend any time with him specifically, he more often than not just a butt in a chair at lunch.

And he was totally fine with that.

He didn’t really rely on others for happiness. There were few people he actually liked, to be honest. His brother was an okay guy, he at least respected Ike and that was genuinely appreciated. His tendency to ‘mother’ drove him absolutely fucking crazy, but things could be worse. He’d deal with it, he was used to Kyle at this point.

Anyway, the point being, Ike had no friends in this circle and there was no reason why Karen McCormick should be throwing rocks at his window right now.

First of all, she was older than him and didn't know him outside of her brother was old friends with his brother. Secondly, she was a mostly nice girl, to the point where even Ike would feel bad poking fun at her.

So, instead of some smarmy comment, Karen simply got Ike throwing open his window and staring down at her.

“Why?” He asked, simply, torn between being intrigued and just annoyed.

The girl grinned up at him, hair pulled back in a hasty ponytail and her pink coat askew. She waved him down and he was tempted to say ‘no.’ He was comfortable and in sweatpants and was about to curl up with a snack and a new video after finishing his homework. He didn't need to be running around outside, no matter what reason Karen McCormick thought was important enough to risk breaking a windowpane.

But he was just too damn curious.

Glad Kyle wasn’t home so he’d have to hear another ‘you’re leaving your _room_?!’ joke, Ike skipped every two steps to pause in the kitchen, just long enough to pull his black jacket over his head and trot out the back door.

“You know, I own a cell phone,” He said, ruffling his black hair back into shape as he approached. “I hope you didn’t break anything throwing rocks.”

“They were acorns,” Karen differentiated. “And I need to talk to you. I need some help. Come on,” And with that, the girl hopped over the Broflovski’s fucking six-foot fence like a parkour master and headed to the playground.

Ike stared after her, puzzled, and sent a glance towards the gate. Well now he’ll just seem like a pussy.

He went through the gate anyway, knowing that him toppling over the fence would be far more embarrassing. There were too many eyes in South Park, too many people that couldn't mind their own business or stop gossiping for two seconds. He wanted to actually survive high school, thanks. Karen was sitting on the swings, and Ike took a respectful distance from the playground to raise an eyebrow in perfect imitation of his brother.

“Thanks, Ike,” Karen said, swinging slightly on the set. She looked unhappy, worn boots marking patterns on the playground gravel. “I just want to know something, something you can’t tell Kyle I asked.”

Ike cringed.

“Oh god, please don’t have a crush on my brother,” The boy more or less pleaded. “I can’t take being asked this all the time. Look, Kyle doesn’t date anymore, he’s not interested. In anyone. Ever. Until the end of time.”

“Not _me_ ,” Here Karen turned a bit sharp, giving the boy a look that clearly said she thought he was a dummy. “Kenny. What does Kyle think of Kenny?”

Ike blinked.

His brother had become something of a loner, too, spending time with Stan mostly through middle and up to high school, until the boys had a bit of a falling-out. Nothing super bad, but the once best-friends simply drifted, and yeah. It was a little sad, because Stan was cool, and no one was more torn up about that than Kyle.

As for other friends…Ike watched his brother deck Cartman in the face recently at the bus stop and it was _awesome_. He laughed himself into tears the whole time he dragged his stupid brother away from the guy. He’d deserved it, turns out Kyle was far more tolerant of bigoted slurs when they _weren’t_ directed at his little brother. All Cartman had to do was tack ‘junior’ onto it and Kyle lost his fucking mind. It was amazing.

Ike was appreciative and told Kyle to never assume he couldn’t punch the bastard himself ever again.

So Cartman and Stan were out of the picture, lately. That left Kenny, pretty much, who Kyle was avoiding for a _very_ different reason than the other two.

Kenny McCormick, Karen’s older brother.

Oh, there was a reason Kyle didn’t date anymore, even though Ike never told potential suitors why. The boy was completely, entirely in love with his childhood friend.

‘Kenny?! Really?!’ Ike had said, surprised. Because Kyle first of all hadn’t gone after guys previously. Okay, that wasn’t totally accurate. Ike tacked the term ‘demi’ onto his brother and it really seemed to fit, Kyle was more apt to fall for a person he knew and admired more than someone he thought was attractive, and boy had it taken him by surprise how much Kyle admired Kenny. A ridiculous amount, turned out. Kyle thought Kenny hung the stars.

“Why?” Ike said now, to Karen, suspicious. He wasn’t divulging anything unless he knew more. Under penalty of death. He took an oath.

“Why?” Karen said back, eyes watching him sharply. “What’s Kyle think of Kenny?”

“What does Kenny think of Kyle?” Ike parroted, both siblings at a stalemate.

Karen narrowed her eyes, tilting her head sideways. “I asked first.”

“You said ‘not me’,” Ike pointed out. “Do you mean Kenny has a crush on Kyle?”

Karen’s expression was almost terrifyingly scrunched up, to the point where it looked like it hurt.

“Come on, give me something,” Ike prodded. “I’m not giving out anything unless I know you’re not going to use it somehow.”

“You’re the sneaky one!” Karen pointed out. “Out of us both, who’s more trustworthy?”

Well shit. Had him there.

“Let’s just say that if Kenny did, hypothetically, like my brother,” Ike rolled his eyes. “Kyle wouldn’t be upset.”

“Kenny likes Kyle,” Karen said immediately.

“Kyle is in-fucking-love with your brother,” Ike replied tiredly, slumping against a tree. “And I’m so tired of listening to him suffer over it.”

“Same here!” Karen said earnestly. “I mean, I don’t mind but it’s really starting to get to him.”

Ike made a face, arms crossed. Karen was watching him expectantly.

“Well?” He said, feeling awkward. This was why he had no friends. “Go tell Kenny my dumb brother likes him back. Then maybe we can both get a break.”

“Kenny won’t believe it,” Karen said dully, pushing herself again. “He won’t say anything.”

Ike considered. “Kyle might, if he knows Kenny likes him.” Or. “If he believes me,” He said awkwardly. “Do…you want to tell him? He’d probably believe you.”

Karen winced. “I just…I don’t know, I’d feel weird just telling Kyle that. Kenny told me not to tell him anything, ever. Even over his grave, say nothing.”

“And I thought Kyle was dramatic,” Ike commented. He sighed, feeling an incoming headache. “Great. They’re both morons.”

“Yep.” Karen picked at a hole in her tights. “I don’t know what to do.”

Ike would suggest going back to their respective houses and letting the boys sort themselves out, but he hesitated. Kyle was getting ready to leave town soon. He was running out of time. And it… yes, there was a good chance he could find someone else, somewhere, but this was intense and it was reciprocated, and…

Fuck it.

“Well, let’s kick them in the ass,” Ike said, startling Karen. “Just get them to talk to each other. They’ll fix it themselves.”

The high school girl grinned, mischief taking over the expression. “I’m for an ass-kicking. What can we do?”

\--

Ike got back home right after Kyle. The boy was glumly perusing a textbook with a salad, and the picture was just…sad. A sad brother, a textbook, and a salad. Pathetic.

Ike hopped up onto the barstool next to him, making Kyle arch an eyebrow at him. Ike had become impervious to the look years ago.

“Hey,” He said, having no idea what words were coming out of his mouth next. “Wanna go for a hike tomorrow?” Best be straightforward. Karen and he decided that was best. Both of their brothers had taken them into the woods regularly, this was a normal thing and wouldn’t raise many suspicions.

Supposedly.

Kyle’s suspicious look turned outright confused. He looked at Ike like he wasn’t sure who he was, immediately suspicious.

“Why?” He asked, drawing out the word.

Ike rolled his eyes, formulating the utterly perfect response. Smiling, trying to keep it from turning into a smirk, he shrugged.

“Look, you’re out of here soon,” He mentioned, watching Kyle’s brows twitch slightly. He didn’t know where this was going. “I figured I need to spend as much time with you as I can until you leave me to fend for myself around here. I’m actually going to miss you, you know.”

That got him. Kyle was taken aback, actually surprised.

He shouldn’t be. Despite Ike being in his ‘cool teenage phase’ as his mother tutted over, he wasn’t about to deny that Kyle was a good brother. He wasn’t a huge snitch and he was around to help him with anything he needed. His brother loved him, Ike never doubted that. Kyle deserved to be happy, and if Kenny was the key to that, Ike was a hundred percent on board.

“So yes? Maybe?” Ike prodded carefully, and his brother smiled, looking actually _happy_ for the first time in a while. It made him feel guilty.

“Sure,” The redhead looked cheered up considerably.

“I’ve got some things to do, around ten okay?” He asked, and Kyle nodded.

“Of course,” He said, and this was fucking killing him. He really should spend some time with Kyle before this was all over. His brother seemed way too happy that Ike actually wanted to spend time with him. Goddamn it.

Ike caved and gave his brother a quick half-hug. And by half-hug he basically leaned on him a second and quickly backed off, embarrassed. Kyle looked touched.

“See you tomorrow, bro,” He said cheerfully, and traipsed up the stairs before he could screw it up somehow.

He locked his door behind him, kicking his shoes off to fall onto his bed. Okay. Well. Hopefully tomorrow things would get fixed. And once they were, Ike and Karen could tease him and Kenny about this for the rest of their lives. ‘Remember when you were too stupid to realize you liked each other and we had to actually stage an intervention?’

Embarrassing material for the greater good of everyone involved. What more could he ask for?


	2. Making...another plan.

Getting Kyle to go for a walk was easy. The boys threw on light jackets and headed out into the woods, walking a good distance into the Colorado trees.

It might seem random to Kyle, but Ike nonchalantly led the way, talking as he led Kyle to where their path should intersect with the McCormicks. Intersect, let them talk, leave them to make out in the woods and maybe get killed by a serial killer and go home knowing his job was complete.

He was such a good brother.

In all honesty, Ike loved the forest. They were a small little mountain town, mostly landscape with little actual buildings-to-trees ratio, if you spent the time to actually go outside and get away from it. He and Kyle used to come out all the time, just talking, or complaining, away from anyone else and their bullshit.

“So you’ve decided on Denver?” Ike asked, hopping over a fallen tree trunk and back over just for the experience of it all.

“Yep,” Kyle followed him, hands in his pockets and his head bare of any hats today. He looked happy, and Ike found himself cheering up as well as the two siblings hiked onward. “Don’t tell anyone yet. Especially you-know-who.”

“Voldemom, got it,” Ike said solemnly, grinning. “She still want you on the East Coast?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Kyle grumbled, rather uncharacteristically.

Ike glanced at him, surprised, as Kyle never missed an opportunity to complain about anything. His smile was disappearing, but he didn’t have time to follow that line of thought before it was showtime. “Oh, hi, Karen.”

Kyle full-body jumped at the mention of Kenny’s sister, something oddly hilarious that he’d never seen him do. Ike only spared him a glance before addressing the youngest McCormick again.

“Hi Ike,” The girl said, hair tangled and loose and face all smiles. “Hi Kyle!”

Hey, how come Kyle got a nicer hello than him?

Kenny walked into their circle next, making Kyle sigh behind him.

“Hi Karen, Kenny,” Kyle greeted, sounding about as enthused as meeting his homeroom teacher in the middle of the woods.

“Hey, Kyle,” The greetings were grating on Ike’s nerves. He actually hadn’t planned on _how_ to get them to talk to one another, and now went into panic mode. Think, Broflovski. Jump in. Say something.

“I actually needed to talk to you before tomorrow,” Karen mentioned to Ike, surprising all three boys. “About that article I was writing.”

“Ohhh, yeah,” Ike had no fucking idea what she was talking about or why it’d be relevant. She was way older than him. “Does it…have to be now?”

Perfect choice of words, because Karen shrank slightly and Kenny took care of Ike’s issue for him.

“How’ve been you, Broflovski?” He started talking to Kyle on his own, walking over to preoccupy the older brother while the younger two talked. Karen more or less dragged Ike away, just out of view so they could talk but not distract the two too much.

“What kind of story do you need to interview a ten-year-old for?” Ike demanded under his breath, and Karen smacked his shoulder.

“Tell Kyle later that I was writing about kids in advanced programs preparing for high school. And hush!” She shushed him, clearly trying to listen.

Ike crouched, getting a view through the brush that let him see the two older boys’ faces as they talked. Kyle was crossing his arms and would not stop touching his hair. Goddamn it, the guy was stupidly self-conscious about it. He probably hadn’t worn a hat since it was just him and Ike, the dumbass. Bad start. Save it, Kenny.

Kenny seemed to be trying.

“-alking around in the woods?” He was asking, a smile on his face and hands on his hips.

“Ike wanted to go for a walk,” Was all Kyle said, bordering on rude. Ike blinked. This wasn’t…what?

“Oh. That’s cool,” Kenny mentioned, leaning against one of the trees and making it difficult to see Kyle anymore. “It’s nice now that everything’s starting to warm up, right?”

“Yeah. It is.”

Great, these two were already old geezers talking about the weather. Ike was more or less trying to kick Kyle mentally. Talk to him, dammit! You said you loved this boy. Act like it!

“So…what classes you taking this semester?” The blond was trying. He was trying so, so hard. Karen was staring at Ike and he flushed, unable to find a reason in his mind for Kyle to be acting like this around him.

“Just…stuff,” Kyle finally elaborated a little. “AP Chemistry, European History, I’m taking a college English class.”

“Cool.” Ike doubted Kenny actually thought it was cool, but the taller boy’s tone remained cheery. “Is it hard? Like…you think college is going to go okay for you?”

“I should be fine,” Kyle said, and that was definitely rude. Ike threw up his hands, unseen, and Kenny finally got up from the tree and took a casual pace around the forest floor, as if he was finally feeling too awkward to stand still.

Ike finally got a good look at Kyle and froze.

He was really, really good at reading people, especially his brother. Kyle was the same way, able to pick up on Ike’s bad days within seconds of seeing him. Ike had never seen something like this on the guy, though.

Kyle was pale, eyes fixed away from Kenny, arms crossed so tightly they had to be cutting off circulation to his hands. He wasn’t being rude, the stupid idiot was fucking _terrified_.

Ike couldn’t stop staring. What the fuck was this, who was this weirdly shy redheaded freak? He’d seen Kyle with a handful of crushes, once he made up his mind he threw himself into trying to win hearts in stupid, dorky, sweet ferocity. He didn’t get shy, he didn’t shut himself down like this. Ike had never, not once, ever seen Kyle shy. He wasn’t even sure Kyle could be shy, honestly, he had a serious temper if provoked and never had an issue telling people what he thought.

Yet here he was, not even looking at Kenny McCormick…Kenny McCormick! One of his best friends since Ike was even born and who had to be, like, the most non-threatening person ever.

From the handful of interactions Ike had with Kenny, he found the guy to be…nice. Kenny was nice. He had some weird jokes and some comments came way perverted out of his mouth, but he didn’t seem to deserve the label people put on him.

The McCormicks weren’t really…liked, let’s say. Ike wouldn’t really have a fondness for either Karen or Kenny if it wasn’t for Kyle, that was just honesty. They were bottom-of-the-barrel sorts, labeled things Ike wouldn’t even say in his own head, but from what he could tell neither really deserved it.

Well, people liked Karen. Even Ike liked Karen, so that should say something. But people didn’t like Kenny. You’d think some gossip would go away, though, once they realized that this kid was literally all about dorky things and other people. He was never anything other than nice to Kyle, (aside from typical best-friend ribbing one expected) Ike never heard the guy make fun of him or treat him rudely, or anything that would warrant Kyle even being afraid to tell him.

What was he going to do, let Kyle down easy? The horror.

And yet, here he was, staring at Kyle across the woodland floor, watching Kenny’s smile start to disappear once he realized the Jewish boy had no desire at all to talk to him. And Kyle just kept stupidly looking up, watching a bird’s nest above his head.

“This is getting nowhere,” Karen finally said, interrupting Ike’s thoughts. “I’ll keep in touch. Let’s go.”

Both siblings reappeared, Kenny looking relieved. Ike walked up to his brother, in half a mind to shake him for being a moron.

He bid the McCormicks goodbye, watching them walk away as Kyle sank to the ground. He looked back to see the dumbass staring after them.

“So…what exactly is wrong with you?” Ike asked, making Kyle scowl. That at least looked normal.

“It’s…just nothing, what did Karen want?” He asked, eyes flitting back towards the McCormick’s path.

“Nuh-uh,” Ike said, kicking Kyle in the side. “You look awful, bro. Did he kick you in the stomach while I had my back turned or something?”

“No!” Kyle stood up, brushing himself off and straightening. “Drop it Ike, let’s go.” He marched in a perpendicular direction to where Kenny and Karen had left, arms still crossed around himself.

Ike couldn’t believe this. He trotted after him, tsking his tongue.

“You’ve got it bad, don’t you?” He asked, and Kyle flushed dark red.

“Shut up,” He muttered, and Ike arched an eyebrow.

“Are you actually- that’s it?” His suspicions confirmed, he felt like laughing and smacking his dumb brother all at once. He settled for smacking himself, dragging his hand over his face. “Kyle, you’re such a mess.”

“Thanks, I know that,” Kyle assured him, making Ike jog to catch up to him.

“Why are you being shy around Kenny?” He asked, bewildered. “You don’t do shy, Kyle, and you’ve known Kenny for, like, ever.”

“It’s different, okay?’ Kyle nervously looked over his shoulder. “Look, it’s different.”

“As you’ve said,” Ike was going to get himself left in the woods at this rate, but he couldn’t resist.

“Kenny’s…” Kyle trailed off, and the sheer look of wistfulness on his face was…

He should just say something. But Kyle would never believe him in a million years, and it might scare him off of this entirely. He needed Kyle to think this was his idea. Get past this weird shyness thing.

“Kenny’s great,” Kyle said, tone warm with reverence. “I just can’t…”

Ike waited, patiently, no smartass remark to be had.

“You wouldn’t get it,” Kyle said, and Ike didn’t argue. He probably wouldn’t.

This was not fun. He loved teasing his brother, he adored his brother, but this wasn’t…he didn’t feel good about this. Ike chewed the inside of his lip, brows drawn.

“Look,” He said, taking a blind leap of faith. “Kenny’d be lucky to have you. Don’t freeze up like some dumbass. You’re cool. He knows that.”

Kyle scoffed, but his cheeks were dark red and Ike would tease him about this sometime in the future. His brother grabbed him, playfully wrestling him into a half hug that Ike even returned.

Kyle was really shaken by all this. It was unfathomable.

“Whatever,” Kyle said, arm draped around his little brother’s shoulders. “I’ll treat you to lunch if you don’t bring this up again.”

“Deal,” Ike said, and the tension began to leave his older sibling’s shoulders.

This might be more than he expected. He needed to plan something a bit better with Karen. Something where Kyle could make a first move, because Kenny seemed willing to try and getting nowhere.

If nothing else, this failure made Ike determined.


	3. Is it too late for another plan?

“No I swear, he’s actually super into him,” Ike protested wildly, waving his hands in the air. “He stares at him at school, he’s written confessions and song lyrics down like a teenage girl! That was totally weird but Kyle’s smitten, trust me.”

Karen’s face twisted, and Ike honestly couldn’t blame her.

“Look, I’ve never once seen my brother do that,” He assured her, dragging a hand through his fluffy black hair. “Kyle’s terrified.”

“Of Kenny saying no?” Karen tried to puzzle out, sitting on the monkey bars staring down at him.

“He’s freaking himself out,” Ike said thoughtfully, eyes narrowed. “He’s never going to get over this if he doesn’t think it’s his own idea. Karen, we gotta make sure Kyle makes the first move.”

“That’s probably not going to be a problem,” The girl said, and Ike realized he never asked something that would probably be beneficial to know.

“Oh,” He felt stupid now, “How’d Kenny take it?”

Karen cringed, and Ike almost wanted to tell her nevermind. That was telling enough.

“He thinks Kyle hates him,” She said, slowly, “He’s trying to figure out what he did wrong.”

Ike pinched the bridge of his nose. Kyle. Fucking Kyle.

“I am,” He said, “ _So_ sorry that my brother is such a loser.”

That made Karen grin again, and the desolate tone was replaced by cheer. “As long as he’s just a loser and not actually mad at Kenny. I’d have to get angry myself if that were the case.”

“No, please believe me and my torment in hearing all sorts of things about your brother I never wanted to hear,” Ike groaned. “Kyle’s just dumb. As if Kenny wasn’t making himself obvious enough today.”

Karen was watching him now, with pursed lips. “What kinda things you didn’t want to hear?”

“God, do you know how much I’ve heard about the way he _smiles_?” Ike made a noise that might have been a whimper. “Or his eyes…I couldn’t even tell you what color they were but thanks Kyle I know they’re blue now, or how tall he’s gotten or weird shit like what he does on a daily basis or did in school or what the fuck ever. It’s so sentimentally gay. I don’t mind the gay, it’s the sentimental part that’s _killing_ me, Karen. Killing. Me.”

He looked up, wanting sympathy, but Karen looked about ready to laugh at him.

“Oh,” She said, lips twitching. “When you said that I was thinking another train of thought. Kyle’s so cute.”

Ike lowered his hands. Slowly.

“If Kyle, ever-” Ike was slamming the door on that now, “Comes to me about weird sexual shit, I quit. I’m moving out, I’m quitting life altogether, I am officially done. I’m a child. I’m far too innocent for this.”

“You don’t act much like a kid,” In anyone else he’d consider that a compliment, but he had the distinct feeling Karen was making fun of him, eyes sparkling as she grinned. Ike wrinkled his nose at her. “Kenny’s let some things slip, once in a while, sometimes I think that _he_ doesn’t think before he says things. Like-”

“No, no, no, no, no, no-” Ike slapped his hands over his ears. “I do not want to know about Kenny’s sexual attraction to my brother! I do not ever want to know! Spare me! Please!” Lord above, knowing Kenny who the fuck knows what kind of things he’d noticed about him. Kenny was way more open about that kind of thing than Ike ever thought anyone should _ever_ be.

Karen was laughing now, ungloved hands clenching the playset to keep from falling off, sounding like a deranged hyena.

“It was PG, Ike, Kenny doesn’t tell me things like _that_ ,” Karen was nearly wheezing. “Oh my god. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.” She promised, a grin on her face very, very reminiscent of her brother. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Ike said, embarrassed now, and tried to save the conversation. “But yeah. So we need to let Kyle make the move. Okay?”

“Yes, that sounds reasonable,” Karen said, still smiling but leaving the conversation in the past. Bless the girl. “Kenny works tomorrow, though, so we’ll have to wait.”

Ike narrowed his eyes, suddenly back to analytical mode. “Actually,” He said…

-

It worked out well. Give Kyle the upper hand in this situation. With Kenny waiting tables, Kyle was in charge. He didn’t have to talk to him any longer than he wanted to, and he could observe Kenny safely in a manner that was not only inconspicuous but hopefully comfortable.

Once Kyle was comfortable, he’d do the rest. Ike knew that much. They just have to get him to feel like he has the upper hand, he told Karen, and the girl cleverly suggested that Ike subtly reinforce the idea that Kenny liked him. Carefully and tactfully bring things to attention that might make it click in Kyle’s mind that his affections could be reciprocated. Once it all came together, they could pat themselves on the back. Done deal.

In theory.

Kyle just fucking ruins everything.

Ike realized they were in trouble when his brother froze, right in the middle of another excellent Cartman Rant, with punctuated hand gestures and adjective swearing. He broke off right in the middle of it, turning red as Kenny walked up to the table.

“Broflovskis!” He greeted, and Ike actually smiled back, wide enough that he felt stupid. _Please forgive my stupid, stupid brother and don’t immediately hit him over the head with your tray,_ Ike pleaded mentally, _Or better yet, please do and then tell him whatever weird shit you told your sister._

“Hi Kenny,” Ike desperately kicked Kyle under the table when the other didn’t immediately answer. Kyle was looking down at his phone, which was shaking in his hands. Oh my god. _Notice, you blond idiot. Look at him, he’s a mess!_

“What’ll it be to drink?” The boy asked, pen at the ready.

“Eh, just water for me,” Ike said, giving Kyle another kick. “What’ll it be, bro?”

Kyle was going to kill him. The brief look he got guaranteed him. Pure fury, directed at Ike and promising, not a swift death, but one slow and painful. With ice picks, probably.

“Water too, thanks Kenny,” Kyle said, sounding like he was carefully keeping himself calm. Ike couldn’t imagine being this tongue tied over someone he’d been best friends with for most of his life. It’d be fascinating if it wasn’t so damned sad.

“Right, I’ll be back!” Kenny promised, snapping the notebook shut.

Kyle’s expression as he stared at the table looked anything but excited. When Kenny turned, he immediately glanced at Ike.

“Sorry,” It was probably in Ike’s best interests on a number of levels to just apologize. “That was mean.”

Kyle immediately relaxed, and Ike made a mental note of it. The redhead glanced at Kenny as he returned, and Kyle couldn’t be the only blind one if the taller boy didn’t notice Kyle’s gaze flitting up and down his body.

Gross. Ike nearly gagged and took an exaggerated drink of water. He signed up for helping his brother, not watching him pining to death and checking Kenny out.

“Know what you want yet?” Kenny asked, which struck Ike as odd, considering they’d only been sitting down like…seven minutes.

“Not yet, thanks,” Kyle said, flipping open the menu, and Ike swore he saw Kenny steel himself.

“Well, then, let me tell you what we have today,” Kenny said, and pointed out a part of the menu, “Burgers today have a special. And the soup of the day is chicken tortilla. It’s in here,” He picked up the smaller pamphlet inside the menu, and his sleeve brushed Kyle’s cheek.

Ike watched the blood drain from his brother’s face as he looked up. He stared. There was something so reverent in Kyle’s face, eyes flitting over Kenny’s features, that for a moment he thought his brother was going to jump up from the chair and kiss him on the lips.

He didn’t, and Ike couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Kyle instead grabbed the menu away from Kenny, swallowing visibly and hands shaking.

“I’ll look it over,” He said, keeping his gaze down, and Kenny withdrew. He might have caught a glimpse of Ike’s gaping expression because he immediately smiled again, shrugging his shoulders and winking at the kid before leaving the table alone.

Ike stared back at Kyle. His mouth was still open, and he slowly spread his hands.

“What?” His brother snapped, the white of his face flushing back with pink.

“That was rude as fuck, Kyle,” Ike finally managed, and the boy cringed.

“I don’t mean…” Kyle trailed off. His knuckles were white. His gaze flit over the menu, towards Kenny again, and he did look sorry.

“You sure don’t act like you like him, sometimes,” Ike said, and he crossed a clear line.

“Good!” Kyle snapped at him, which took the brunet by surprise. “I’m getting over it, alright? Leave it alone, Ike, especially here,” He hissed, gaze switching between his brother and the object of his affections. “Just…pick something to eat. Okay? This is what I want. Order while I’m gone,” He demanded, tossing down his menu and storming towards the bathroom.

This was all a mess, so Ike gave in at that point. Kenny took down his order, way more detailed and slower than he should. He clearly wanted something. 

“Hey,” He said, quickly, looking towards the bathrooms, “Your brother okay, lately?”

Ike suddenly realized this was a moment to be utterly devious and brilliant. So naturally, he was.

“Kyle’s stressed,” Ike said, with an air of solemnity that didn’t match the smug pride in his chest. “Poor guy’s been a mess. I’ve been trying to get him to relax a little, but,” He shrugged, frowning, propping up his chin with a hand, “I’m just worried about him. The future’s kinda scary and shit, you know?”

“Yeah,” Kenny said, slowly, drawing out the word. “It really is, sometimes.”

Got him. Ike was brilliance incarnate. Wait until he told Karen. Kenny smiled at him, tapped his head playfully with his notebook, and left the table. Ike smirked into his glass of water. He could still save this.

Kyle returned to slip back into the booth, hiding his hands in his sleeves. That was something Ike hadn’t seen since Kyle was little, like really, really little, and his memory was based on hearing their parents talk about it. He narrowed his eyes, glee turning to true, actual concern.

“Are you okay?” Ike asked, honestly. He met Kyle’s gaze, serious. The fact that his brother didn’t immediately shrug the concern off scared him. “Kyle?”

“I’m-” The boy froze, so suddenly that Ike whipped around.

Kenny was leaning over the bar to talk to his coworker, a girl that even Ike’s indifference considered very pretty. Kenny was flirting, which meant nothing really, because Kenny liked to flirt with anyone and even teased his friends with it, particularly in middle school. Ike wasn’t sure if Kyle had actually hated it back then or not. Kyle was weird, and play-flirting was just Kenny. End of story.

Of course Kyle wouldn’t like it, though.

He stared, unmoving, Ike wasn’t sure he could even breathe.

“Stop,” He said, suddenly this wasn’t funny anymore. He reached for Kyle’s wrist, gripping it in a way that was reassuring, not restrictive. “Kyle, it’s okay. Kenny teases.”

“I don’t care,” Kyle said, carefully. There came the shutdown. He ripped his gaze away, face so empty it made Ike hurt. “It’s not that. I just thought of something.”

“Right.” The fact he even knew what Ike was mentioning totally said otherwise, but Ike let it go. Kyle was suffering.

And he hated it.

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Ike asked him, both his hands on his older brother’s arm. “Kyle, you’re great. I’m sure Kenny thinks so, too,” This felt stupid but he was ready for all the word vomit in the world if it got that look off his brother.

It did, but not really for what he was attempting.

“Thanks, Ike,” Kyle said, and there was genuine gratitude there. His smile returned, and he squeezed one of Ike’s hands. “I’m good, man. I promise.”

Ike let it go. And he spoke to Kenny the rest of the meal. Setback. He wasn’t sure what to do next, if Kyle wouldn’t even open up to him.

Kyle didn’t wat but maybe two bites of his sandwich, and Kenny set a box down in front of him with a rather derpy-looking smiley face carved into it. Ike found that a good point to touch on.

“He clearly doesn’t hate you, Kyle,” He said, and Kyle’s shoulders lowered slightly.

Ike raised his eyebrows when he saw the tip Kyle left, finding it overkill. Underneath, however, Kyle wrote ‘I’m sorry’, and the attempt was a good one. A good start. So…maybe? He needed Karen’s input for this. ASAP.

Ike made Kyle carry the box. Make him stare at the physical proof that Kenny did, to some degree, like him.

This went deeper than Kyle being afraid to be turned down. Something was clearly wrong, and Ike wasn’t sure what. He was pushing his luck, but he tried as they walked back to Kyle’s car.

“Just wondering,” Ike said, voice quiet. “Why wouldn’t you ever tell him?”

“Because I’ll get over it,” Kyle said, assuredly. His thumb ran over the Styrofoam smile.

“Even if he’d be…cool with it?” Ike asked, not really understanding.

“He wouldn’t want me, Ike,” Kyle said, just as assuredly, and that made the boy trip slightly on loose asphalt. “Leave it alone.”

Oh. This went…way deeper. This was…this was bad. Ike was astounded at how brutal the words were, and how Kyle saw them as absolute truth.

He wouldn’t want me.

The words were so not-Kyle. They hinted at something way deeper and darker than Ike signed up for. He walked closer to his brother, reaching for his sleeve and holding it like a child. Just because it was dumb to hold hands with your brother if you were ten and known as the smartest kid in town. But he didn’t want Kyle to feel like…

Why?

Ike snuck out the kitchen as soon as Kyle was upstairs, and awkwardly clambered over the fence and fell flat. He laid there a good moment before picking himself up and walking across the railroad tracks.

He knew which room Karen had. He hated this place, though.

They really came from a bad place. You could see it from the Broflovski residence, dilapidated and covered in garbage and drugged-out people and filth. Both boys were forbidden from approaching it, but if Kyle had never been over here at least once he was a horrible friend. Horribler friend.

Tapping on her window, crouching stupidly against the old structure, he could hear the McCormicks inside screaming. He cringed.

His mom might yell at her kids, but not…it was never like this. Ike finally had to leave. Karen wasn’t home and he wasn’t sticking around.

He paused in front of Kyle’s room, wondering if he should say something. After today, though, that might be counterproductive.

Ike finally decided to leave it alone. He went into his own room, shucking off his coat and shoes to collapse on the bed.

Kyle wasn’t okay. The thought haunted him. Would it be better to call it off? No, this went deeper than just Kenny, anyhow. It wouldn’t help. He noticed Kyle didn’t talk to his friends much, but he was starting to wonder if…if it wasn’t maybe by choice.

He and Stan drifted, and he kind of assumed Kyle had been cool with it and moved on, but…what if he hadn’t? What if he had been the one left behind? He didn’t exactly have a lot of friends, despite being smart and having several people hounding him for dates. As far as friends went…

Cartman was a bigoted ass, Stan was out of reach, and Kyle developed a crush on the last person he had. He never thought about his brother being lonely. Ike liked being alone, but Kyle…

Ike swallowed. No, he needed to get this figured out. And take it more seriously. This was now suddenly vital. He needed to get this situation fixed.


	4. Whoops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will the anon that requested this piece please stand up?

Ike didn’t see Karen the next day, and wasn’t really eager to run back over to her house. She had to have heard what went down from Kenny, and he wondered if she’d decided to snub him considering what a colossal failure it was.

Eh, he couldn’t even blame her.

He did spend the next day watching his older brother more closely. Kyle didn’t talk to anyone. His phone was used to browse the internet, his spare time was spent reading or doing homework. He clicked through about seven pages on his chosen college’s website, trying to decide on a major before his mother found out he didn’t have one. Not once did he talk to anybody, and this was a daily occurrence. It just simply didn’t register with Ike that Kyle didn’t have any friends. 

Goddamn it, his brother really was a loser and it was weird. Yeah, Ike thought he was annoying, but Ike lived with him. Kyle wasn’t ugly, he came from a decent family, he dressed nicely, he was probably the second smartest in the town after Ike. And maybe Stan’s ex-girlfriend.

When had he stopped talking to Kenny, after all? Ike tried to conjure up the memory in his mind. The guy had been over at their house quite a bit when he and Kyle were kids. Kyle started getting a crush on him around eighth grade, ugh, and it started interfering with his life around…a year ago? And he just shut Kenny out.

Now, if Ike had a crush, he’d just walk up to the person and tell them. Ask if they’d want to go out. Yes or no, boom. Done. But Kyle decided he wanted to hide away from the world instead. And he thought this could all be fixed just by getting Kenny to agree to date him, but…

He wouldn’t want me.

Ike puzzled over that sentence, twirling a pencil impressively from finger to finger. This had to be a result of his forced isolation. If no one talked to him anymore, (communication went both ways, after all,) that would definitely make him rethink things. But he was doing the same thing to Kenny, now! The whole thing was just a mess. Ike couldn’t apply logic to it.

When his mother mentioned they had to get groceries, Ike volunteered himself and Kyle, just so his brother would get up from the armchair he’d sullenly parked himself in and stop sulking. Despite the protests, Ike knew Kyle didn’t mind. If he didn’t want to be spoken to, he’d be up in his room.

Ike seriously, honestly, did not mean for this to happen. Total accident. Total coincidence. Fate maybe. Ike realized what was happening before Kyle did when he and Karen made awkward eye contact over the bin with frozen ham.

Both froze, and Ike nearly swallowed his own tongue. Karen was walking with her hands in her pockets, no cart or basket. Which meant-

Kenny was laughingly recounting something to his sister and both siblings panicked.

Before Ike could say anything to get Kyle to _leave_ , but the redhead had spent most of his life listening to that voice. He was in love with the owner of it. Of course he recognized him.

His head shot up from where he was critically inspecting expiration dates on blueberries, looking around for him. Karen shrunk slightly, as if about to sit behind the divider.

Kenny caught sight of Kyle, and his expression changed. He was not happy to see him, or at least not as happy as he had been. No blame there, but it was the intensity that piqued Ike’s curiosity. Like Kyle was a chore Kenny forgot to do.

Here marks the last time Ike would ever put ‘Kenny’ and ‘doing Kyle’ anywhere together in a sentence. Ugh. Bad wording.

Kyle seemed to notice, too, and blanched. Unfortunately, Kenny walked over anyway.

“Hey,” He said, leaning on the cart and resting a foot against the bottom chassis. 

“Hey,” Kyle said in reply, ignoring Karen entirely to stare at her brother. Ike woefully watched the two as Kenny looked Kyle over.

“I…wanted to talk to you,” Kenny said, and Ike’s heart jumped. Behind him, Karen straightened, eyes widening. “Just for a second.”

“Of course,” Kyle said, all business and concern. “Everything okay?” Kenny just waved him away from the carts instead, and Kyle managed not to make a huge fool of himself by shoving jittery hands into his jacket instead.

Karen came flying up to Ike, squeezing his arm, not saying anything. The grin on her face was megawatt.

“Not where I’d confess, but whatever,” Ike said, feeling relieved. “Good ol’ Kenny. Go get him.”

“I thought it was a lost cause,” Karen whispered, shaking Ike lightly. “Something must have clicked.”

“Good, because this is worse than I thought-” Ike was saying, just as Kyle’s voice raised.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He demanded, and both siblings closed their mouths. Kyle’s hands were on his hips, all shyness vanished.

“Uh oh,” Karen said as Ike groaned.

Kenny was trying to lower his voice, face tinting pink, but Kyle wasn’t having it.

“That’s stupid,” He said, and Karen stared at Ike.

“Yeah, whatever he said, it’s not about feelings,” The boy said tiredly, feeling about a million years old. “Time for your brother to fuck things up, I guess.”

“-don’t need you to-” Kenny was saying, as Kyle stepped into his space. Close enough that Kenny cut himself off before Kyle even starting talking.

“Doesn’t matter,” Ike made out from Kyle’s words. “If anyone else…You’re overthinking this, stop being a fucking idiot-”

Hypocrite, Ike thought.

“-My _friend,_ ” Kyle said, and Ike raised his eyebrows. “Stan, and- well, not Cartman. But you’re not special, Kenny.”

Fuck all, Kyle. Ike would intervene, only Kenny was…staring. A decent amount taller than Kyle, he looked down at the enraged boy with something on his face that Ike couldn’t quite identify. He licked his lips, looking like he wanted to say something but didn’t. Kyle whirled away, storming off, and Kenny visibly sighed. The emotion was more palpable, and Ike suddenly realized what kind of look that was. Ugh.

“Ew,” Ike muttered, and Karen nodded.

“He likes seeing Kyle mad,” The girl said sagely, and Ike didn’t have time to pray for the poor child’s overburdened soul before he realized Kyle was walking away without him.

“I gotta talk to you later,” He said all under his breath, Kenny staring after Kyle with regret.

“Yeah, we do,” Karen said and the two parted, Ike following Kyle to the checkouts without a third of their list.

Ike, with all the patience of providence, waited until they stepped outside to ask.

“What was that?” He said, and Kyle angrily hefted all the bags into his hands and clenched his jaw.

“The stupid…moron…” He said, throwing it all in the back of his car and pausing to breathe, “Tried to tell me I tipped too much. I told him, if he’d been anyone else, I would have done the same. We’re friends!”

Huh. “Yeah, that’s pretty dumb,” Ike agreed. “Why the blowup though, bro?”

“He’s so adamant about weird shit like that,” Kyle said, turning around to sit against his car’s trunk, face still flushed an angry red. “He once tried to pay me back for lunches I bought for him.”

“I mean,” Ike interjected, “I get it, kinda. You don’t want someone always doing favors for you.”

“I _guess_ ,” Kyle said, in a tone that said he didn’t agree at all. “But he’s Kenny, Ike. Even before…look, he’s been my best friend for years. I’ve known him almost since I’ve been born, Ike. He’s a part of my life, like my family. If I needed something from him, I’d ask, and I know he’d give it to me. He’s important to me. It’s not some favor! It’s me, caring about him. I do, I _care_ , and that’s all it is.”

Ike leaned down, eyes serious.

“Kyle, I’ll bet you,” He paused, mentally counting up how much he had saved for his next laptop, “250, tonight, that if you walk right up to him and say exactly that, he’d get it. All of it.”

“Stop, Ike,” Kyle said, drawing a knee up to rest his forehead against it. “I can’t.”

“Why not!?” Ike finally burst, throwing his arms out. “Why wouldn’t he want you? Why wouldn’t you take a chance? He still talks to you and he checks you out every time you walk by and it’s fucking gross! Go be gross together!”

“I don’t have anything to give him!” Kyle snapped back, the words taking Ike aback enough that he retreated a step. “I can’t!”

Ike looked over the parking lot, making sure no one was around. Kyle looked about another outburst from crying, and if he was going to pry, he wasn’t going to humiliate him on top of it.

“What do you mean?” He asked, voice quiet. “Come on, man. You have…lots,” He said, literal mind picturing the McCormick shack.

Kyle seemed to pick up on that, because his eyes narrowed.

“Forget anything about our upbringing,” Kyle said, voice even and bitter. “Or where we come from. If you take us down to the core, Kenny has always been the better person.”

Ike tilted his head, and Kyle snorted.

“He supports an entire household,” Kyle said, and Ike interrupted him right there. 

“What?” He said, and his older brother smiled, genuinely.

“Yep,” He said, drawing his other leg up, too. “Everything Kenny and Karen own has been bought by Kenny. Everything that household has, every scrap of food and stitch of clothing, is only due to him. How hard he’s worked. And the weirdest part is he’s not _bitter_ about it,” Kyle leaned back, hopefully not sitting on the eggs. “He just takes it on, as his own responsibility." Kyle took a breath, only just started.

"He’s saved up for Karen to go to college. He still continues going to school because he wants to be a good influence. People aren’t nice to him, his own parents mistreat him, but he brushes it off. Moves forward, because he’s already beyond the stupid, trivial shit in high school. Kenny gives everything to everyone else, with this…this stupid, selfless plan of his, to make his sister’s life a good one, when this shouldn’t be his burden. Ike, you don’t know the half of it,” Kyle stared towards the supermarket, his tone very soft and un-Kyle to the point where Ike could only listen.

“I started buying him lunch because I found out he was going to bed hungry. Back before he could get hired in many places, when he worked basically behind the back of the law to start saving money to leave. The kinds of things he’s had to go through, and seen, would have made me an angry, hateful person. But he isn’t. He’s not even a kid anymore, Kenny’s a full adult, with this insane ambition and his morals. And I just…”

Kyle swallowed, and Ike had never, not once, heard Kyle speak lowly of himself. To be honest, it was normally the opposite end of the spectrum.

“I don’t even know what my major is going to be,” He said, slowly. “And when I do, my parents will sign a check to cover what the college doesn’t. I’ve never had to really work for anything. I don’t have a set plan for my future, other than try to keep everyone happy. And I can’t even do that! Everyone’s gone, it’s just me, now, and I just…have nothing to offer, you know?” Ike didn’t like this. He stammered, wanting this to stop before Kyle went more in depth.

“Don’t say that,” Ike croaked. “Kenny loves you, Kyle.”

Kyle shook his head, lips trembling.

Ike saw the two McCormick siblings leaving the supermarket. Karen, bless her heart, pointed out Kyle. Kenny’s pace slowed, then stopped.

_Please come over,_ Ike pleaded in his mind. _Just talk to him._

Kenny pulled at Karen’s coat, gently. The girl protested, but he had made up his mind. Ike watched him walk away.

_Motherfucker._ Ike was biased but Kenny totally should have walked over and checked on Kyle.

He looked back at the boy, angry and lonely and scared. This was his older brother, someone he didn’t think could feel this low.

“I’m sorry,” Kyle said, rubbing at his forehead. “I shouldn’t make you listen to things like this.”

Ike didn’t care anymore. He moved to sit in the trunk as well, throwing his arms around his brother. Kyle froze, and might actually be tearing up now. Ike buried his face in his big brother’s shoulder, heart squeezing.

“For the record,” He said, pressed against his jacket, “I think you’re pretty great.”

Kyle’s body lurched, and Ike realized he was crying. Warm arms wrapped around his baby brother, and the Broflovskis clung to each other in the dark, dim-lit parking lot.


	5. Mawwiage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tiny transition for you.

Karen didn’t have good news.

The girl sat on the swings, dejected. Ike sat on the cold ground, cross-legged and staring at the ground.

“Kenny outright said last night that he’d given up on Kyle,” She said softly. “I don’t believe he really has, but…I think he’s going to stop trying so hard. He was upset when he said it, so…I don’t know how serious he is about it.”

Ike sighed, pulling grass out of the ground. “I think we might’ve made things worse.” The image of Kyle crying wouldn’t leave his mind. So isolated and afraid he’d become self-loathing. “Kyle’s…he’s so broken up, Karen. You don’t even know.”

“Was he crying yesterday?” Karen asked softly, drawing lines in the playground gravel with her boot.

“I…” Ike winced. “I can’t say yes to that.”

The girl flinched, as if the idea hurt her physically. “This was a bad idea,” She said, finally. Her eyes were apologetic as she sought the boy out. “It’s my fault, Ike. I started this.”

“Well, I’ll finish it,” Ike said stubbornly, making the girl look up. He rolled his eyes. “We’re not giving up.”

“They’re both hurting,” Karen protested. “We’re making things worse. And Kyle’s…I like Kyle,” She promised, “But he’s screwing everything up. He wasn’t exactly nice to Kenny, Ike.”

Ike sighed. He scratched his cheek, and then fished a piece of paper out of his pockets.

“I didn’t want to have to do this,” He said solemnly, stretching to give it to the girl. “You’re under oath, Karen. You can’t show that to anyone.”

Curiosity piqued, the girl began unfolding the worn notebook paper while Ike watched. To be honest, he’d debated leaving it. After all, Kyle had some serious problems that wouldn’t be fixed just by Kenny liking him back.

But.

Ike liked Kenny. The guy was friendly, upbeat, genuinely a nice guy. He meshed well with Kyle and cared about a lot of the same things. There was a chance that getting someone who Kyle looked up to, loved, and knew so well to admit that he loved him back might make things easier. After all, it’s easier to share a burden than carry it on your own.

Karen read aloud, in the kind of tone you used when your English teacher called on your for paragraphs.

“Sometimes with one I love I fill myself with rage for fear I effuse unreturn’d love, but now I think there is no unreturn’d love, the pay is certain one way or another.” She paused awkwardly. “And then it’s a note about an unrequited love-”

“That whole first part is a quote he found by some long-dead poet,” Ike said, rolling his eyes. “But the interesting thing is under that. Read through it.”

Karen looked back, glancing over the lines. “Sunlight, the quiet and oft-unnoticed strength of a star too bright to touch, warmth and light for comfort and joy tucked away too far to reach- Ike, what is this?” She asked, but the boy waved her on.

“Keep reading until you get it,” He said, and Karen dutifully continued.

“Power wrapped in a soft, gentle blaze, lighting paths for others that might else find themselves lost: the sun asks not to be observed, many unable to stand the incandescent beams despite their familiarity. Should one fully realize the sun, they might burn from the inside out, whether it be worth it or not, I would find out. You, my love, are- HOLY SHIT,” She said, it all clicking into place. “This is love poetry!”

“He wrote that pretentious garbage himself,” Ike said, almost gleeful in seeing Karen laugh over his brother. “There’s like, a paragraph dedicated to his eyes. It’s awful.”

Karen snorted, reading silently through it with mischievous eyes. Ike watched her a moment before taking a breath, diving in.

“Look, the whole meaning of that shitty thing is that Kyle admires Kenny,” He said, rolling his eyes mostly for the show. “It’s all about being afraid to recognize something you’re familiar with because you might come away hurt, and then the rest is just gooey words about what he loves about him.” Karen glanced back up, and Ike lifted a shoulder.

“The point is, Kyle’s lost for him. And he’s just…lost in general. On my end, at least, Kyle would really benefit from having Kenny around again. Even if it’s a no, Karen, he needs Kenny as a friend, he needs _someone_.” Ike went back to pulling apart blades of grass. “Everyone else has just left him in the dirt, and it’s starting to get to him. He’s internalized everything to the point where he’s no longer even himself. Even if Kenny’s done, Karen, wouldn’t he care enough to try and help Kyle out of this hole?” He asked, looking back up at the teenager.

Karen carefully folded the paper in her hands, eyes solemn.

“He would,” She admitted. “No matter what. He’s got his own doubts, though, Ike. He’s…afraid of being a burden. ‘Dead weight,’ is the term he used.”

“Kyle,” Ike said, resigned, “Thinks Kenny hung the stars. He respects him, looks up to him. He thinks he’s not worthy of him, or he’d say something.”

Karen winced. She twisted her hands into her sleeves, sighing heavily.

“Let’s try one more time,” She said, “Because Kenny’s crazy about him. Obsessed. He’s not over Kyle and if they don’t come to some conclusion I’m not sure he ever will be. To whatever end, they need to know they love each other.”

“Then we’ll make it so neither can back out this time,” Ike said firmly. “They’ll have to talk to each other. We’ll force them.”

Karen pulled at her jacket string. “What, are we going to lock them in a closet together or something?”

“Or something,” Ike said, thoughtfully.

Karen snorted. She got off the swing, crouching to hand him back the paper. Her eyes were sweet.

“You care about your brother a lot, don’t you?” She asked, which was a stupid fucking question but she was so goddamned _nice_ Ike would be an asshole for pointing it out.

“’Course,” He said instead, staunchly. “Kyle deserves to be happy. He can’t tell me everything, he needs somebody. Kenny’s a good somebody.”

Karen actually had the audacity to hug him. A quick, half-armed hug, but a hug nonetheless.

“You’re a good brother, Ike,” She said, and the boy shrunk into his coat. Karen seemed to take pity on him, finally standing and leaving him alone before grinning.

“Hey, that’s an idea!” She said, lightly kicking his shoe. “If this all ends up great, we might be siblings one day! I always wanted a little brother.”

“Yeah, how about we actually get them to talk to each other first,” Ike said, face red. He stood up, brushing himself off. “Stop being weird and listen. We just have to get them to the school-”

Karen listened attentively as he went over the plan, thankfully not bringing up marriage again. Girls were so weird.


	6. Done with pretences

He was so ready for this. He had it planned perfectly. It was raining, but he wanted to play basketball. Supposedly. Ike wasn’t into sports. But Kyle loved basketball and agreed to drive to the school and play for a bit. The exchange students always left the side door open, so as to let their friends in on the weekend, and as Ike suspected it was open today.

Ike had to endure sweating incompetently way too long, dressed in a loose tshirt and sweats. Kyle wore one of his old jerseys and shorts, making Ike chase him around the court. They were the only two people there, just the sound of the basketball, squeaking shoes, and Kyle endlessly mocking him.

Goddamned bastard didn’t deserve this.

He did look happier, though. Ike wondered why Kyle quit when he loved basketball so much. He had some rough classes, but Kyle had a lot of free time. He could fit games into the schedule, or hell, he could probably call up some old teammates to play at least once in a while. Ike would never understand Kyle withdrawing, but maybe he simply couldn't. He couldn't imagine needing people like this, or how much it hurt Kyle not to talk to the people he loved, or withdrawing to the point where he was unrecognizable. Yes, something had to change and Ike would make sure Kyle didn't drown again under everything he felt. Regardless of if he understood it or not.

Ike had never been so relieved to see the McCormicks in his life. He caught sight of them before Kyle did and said nothing, quickly looking back as Kyle took another shot, playfully nudging him aside afterwards.

Kenny looked like he was trying to backtrack, hissing in Karen's ear and staring at Ike's brother. The sound of voices were enough to make Kyle turn at last, noticing the two newcomers. Ike finally slapped the ball out of his hands, holding it as the two older boys stared each other down.

Kyle immediately whirled on Ike but he’d already walked away. He and Karen swapped places, the girl having come to the conclusion last night that they weren’t getting anywhere with their own siblings. Time for a new perspective.

So he let Karen talk to Kyle, and awkwardly addressed Kenny, who he honestly couldn’t remember purposely talking to one-on-one even once before.

“Hey Kenny,” Ike said, pushing his sweaty black hair off his forehead. “I need your help.”

Kenny frowned, but didn’t needle him like Kyle would have. He merely looked at his sister and back at Ike, blue eyes narrowing in a look that was not very Kenny-ish. Bordering on intimidating. “With what?”

Ike just dove straight in. “You’ve got a crush on my brother, right?” He asked, and Kenny’s lightly-tanned skin turned stark white. Good, they were both dramatic babies. Match made in motherfucking heaven.

“Wh-” Ike didn’t let him finish a single word.

“Good, because I need you to forgive what a jackass he’s been and get him to talk,” Ike grabbed a handful of his blue hoodie and lightly shoved the taller guy towards his brother. Kenny moved forward maybe a half step. “He really still wants to be friends but he’s also a sad, ugly mess. See what you can do for me.” 

Karen was bodily shoving Kyle towards them, his sneakers squeaking in protest. 

“Karen!” Kyle was protesting, incredulously. Kenny regarded him carefully, walking forward on his own.

Karen stepped back quickly, and Ike followed her to jump on the gym’s stage. Or rather, he clambered up and she took a flying leap up onto the platform. The two went to sit on one of the projects the stagehands were working on, some tall, angled piece that looked kind of like a bridge. Ike picked up his backpack from the forefront of the stage and wiped his forehead on his sleeve.

“I brought Uno,” He said, waving the pack of cards around. “I feel like it’s going to be a while.”

-

It was.

But they didn’t leave. The two younger siblings watched as their brothers talked, Kenny with his hands shoved in his pockets and Kyle pacing back and forth, unable to keep still. It went on for a while, and Ike felt relieved.

They decided not to tell each other that the object of their affections reciprocated. Ike thought Kyle might need to make that move himself. If they came away from this being friends again, that was enough. Karen agreed. Kenny had some friends, more so than Kyle, but he’d missed him. An aching amount. He had photos tacked up on his wall of his old friends, Kyle included.

It seemed oddly sweet to Ike.

As he drew two cards yet again, he took another glance. Kyle still moved around, but less frantically. He was doing the majority of the talking, though they were too far to hear what they were saying.

“He’s apologizing,” Ike said confidently, throwing down another red absently.

“How do you know?” Karen asked, from where she lay on her stomach, organizing her hand.

“I know,” Ike said, setting down his cards a moment to watch. “He’s touching his hair a lot. Crossing his arms. He’s defensive, nervous, self-conscious. He’s sorry, and he’s saying that.”

Karen took a look as well, stretching.

“We’ll have to turn the lights on if they take too much longer,” She said. “Why didn’t you do that when you arrived? It’ll distract them now.”

“I…didn’t think about it,” Ike admitted, embarrassed. Karen didn’t tease him, or even look like she cared that much.

Kenny was talking now, seemingly careful, and Kyle cringed.

“Oof,” Ike said, but Karen shook her head.

“He’s not being mean,” She promised. “Trust me, I’ve been on the end of too many of his ‘concerned parent’ talks not to notice. He’s worried.”

Good old Kenny.

Ike went back to his cards, skipping Karen once to actually try and get rid of some of these stupid fucking cards. He needed to get someone to teach him something other than simple card games. Not that he’d have any more success with anything more complicated, probably, but he could dream.

On the gym floor, Kyle suddenly interrupted Kenny shrilly. Both younger kids looked out over the stage.

“What!?” Ike’s brother was saying, stopping in his tracks for maybe the first time. “No! Absolutely not!”

Good. Ike heard Karen sigh in relief. Kenny seemed to relax, too, a sheepish grin on his face. Kyle stepped right into his space, saying something angrily with a poke in the chest. Kenny’s grin widened.

He grabbed Kyle’s upper arms, laughingly mentioning something that seemed to make Kyle twitch.

Ike’s eyebrows raised as Kyle actually reached up and grabbed his chin, thumb pressed against Kenny’s lips, and the laughter died from the blond’s voice as he looked startled. Kyle was saying something, looking angry. Kenny’s eyes grew large.

And then Kyle kissed him.

Ike audibly gasped, astounded as his brother’s daring, and Karen threw her cards in the air, arms waving in victory.

The two losers didn’t even notice.

It quickly got gross as Kyle began sucking face with the other boy, hands all over until Ike finally had to look away. Oh god, that was truly awful.

“What have we created?” He groaned, but Karen was still ecstatic. She was glowing, making a move for him and he immediately backed away from any potential hugs.

Right off the raised platform onto the stage floor.

_That_ at least got their attention, both looked up to see Ike groaning in pain and Karen alternating between concern and laughter as the boy swore angrily.

“You okay?” Kyle’s sharp voice carried to him, and Ike glared at his brother who watched him with twinkling eyes from the side of the stage.

He didn’t dignify that with a response, merely scoffing and brushing sawdust off his shirt. Kenny stood next to Kyle, elbows resting on the stage and chin in his hands. He was grinning, watching as Karen bounded over and Ike grumpily shoved his things in his backpack.

Kenny helped Karen off the stage and she let him, despite the fact Ike had seen her scale up and down the oak tree behind the high school in heeled sandals. She didn’t need help off the stage.

Ike nearly did, but he’d kill Kyle if he offered. He slid off, walking close to his brother as the four began walking out of the gym. Ike and Kyle stopped to put on their jackets, the redhead leaning into Ike’s space to quickly speak unheard.

“You’ve been planning this for these last few days, haven’t you?” He asked, and Ike couldn’t tell if he was miffed or not. So he elected to tell the truth.

“And Karen,” He made sure the blame was evenly distributed and shrugged. “Thanks for not fucking this one up.”

Kyle elbowed his baby brother, right before squeezing his shoulder and keeping his hand there. It was neutral enough gesture that Ike didn’t feel immediately embarrassed, and so let Kyle even when they came back to the McCormick siblings.

Karen was half-hugging her brother, and they all headed out to the parking lot.

“So I’m dropping you both off,” Kyle said coolly, though his face was tinged pink. “I need to talk to Kenny.”

“Good!” Karen said, making her brother ruffle her hair.

“Yeah, you’re both going to get it later,” The redhead snarked, without any kind of anger whatsoever. In fact, he sounded happier than he had in a while, despite the fact he wasn’t looking at Kenny.

This Ike could tolerate, though. This was just Kyle being embarrassed, blushing and happy and letting his fingers brush Kenny’s ever so often. The blond, of course, couldn’t stop smiling. Or sneaking looks at Kyle.

Eh. They’d take it from here. Ike leaned into his brother as the rain poured down.


	7. An acceptable outcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank the anon again for this prompt. If you ever want to come forward, I'll be sure this story is properly credited. Thank you!

Things fell into place quickly after that. Kyle was absent from home pretty much anytime Kenny was off work. He’d visibly cheered up around the house, rather than skulk around like a depressed zombie. Ike thought that was good enough.

And then he actually started bringing Kenny around.

It took him a while to actually come out to their parents, who took the fact Kyle was into boys better than they did that boy being Kenny. It wasn’t as though their parents disliked Kenny, just that they thought Kyle could aim higher. Somehow, his older brother stayed cool as Ike spied from the top of the stairs. Calm and collected, he wanted Kenny to come to dinner and be…sort of re-introduced to his parents.

Kenny took it from there. And he was over many, many, many nights afterwards, until he pretty much just fit in with the household.

Ike decided that he really liked Kenny. There was something in his sense of humor that Ike found kinship in, the snarky jabs at Kyle were also rather appreciated. After all, Kenny knew all Kyle’s faults as well as Ike did. He found a fun companion in making fun of Kyle for lots of things, including Kyle’s own incompetence in admitting his feelings.

“Imagine me,” Kenny said as they scrubbed dishes, Ike sitting on the counter and helping none. “Home every night, pining away, wondering what on Earth I could possibly have done to make Kyle angry at me…”

Kyle flicked soap at him, which Kenny promptly ignored, leaning on the counter next to Ike and speaking solemnly.

“See, if I’d just known that his extremely awkward and off-putting attitude was because you were hot for me, I would have gladly taken you aside and explained how adults act when they have a crush-” Kenny yelped as Kyle snapped a towel in his direction. “Rude!”

“I fixed it,” Kyle protested, but Ike couldn’t help jumping in.

“Excuse you, _I_ fixed it,” The boy snobbishly declared. “Or Karen and I,” He delegated fairly. “You would never have done anything and you know it.”

“Yeah, hold on,” Kenny suddenly said, gesturing with a kitchen knife. “How come I didn’t get a serenade or something? I thought you were a closet romantic, Kyle, why didn’t you woo me?”

Kyle grabbed his wrist and carefully took the knife away before he stabbed someone with it. “Consider yourself wooed, asshole,” He told him, putting the cutlery in the drying rack like Kenny was supposed to.

“A dinner at your parents’ is really nice,” Kenny said cheerfully. “But I don’t know if I’d call it wooing. What do you think, Ike?”

“I think,” Ike knew his brother expected him to brush the topic off by the way he went back to the dishes and grinned. “That you should show Kenny some of the things you’ve written for him, Kyle.”

Kyle inhaled so suddenly he choked, and Kenny sent Ike a supernova of a grin before whirling on his boyfriend.

“Kyle!” He said, delighted, and Ike had to dodge a wet, wadded-up dishcloth.

“ _Shut the fuck up, Ike_!” The words came hissed and quickly, Kyle clawing at the porcelain sink.

“Ike, buddy,” Kenny was saying, eyes flashing mischievously. “Companion. My new best friend. What works of art can you talking about?”

“Ike, I swear,” Kyle was saying, but the boy simply swung his legs off the counter and thought about it a bit.

“90’s teenager shit,” Ike said easily, smirking. “I’m talking song lyrics and handwritten poetry.”

Kenny pretended to swoon. “Kyle, you smooth bastard,” He tried to wrap his arms around Kyle’s shoulders and the redhead desolately resigned himself. He hung off him absurdly, forcing Kyle to keep him upright. “I _knew_ you found me attractive.”

“You need me to write something to realize that?” Kyle snapped, and Kenny squeaked appreciatively. Ike shook his head at them both and reached out to take the next plate from Kyle since Kenny seemed to have relinquished his job to become a full-time sloth. “I don’t know what Ike’s talking about. Nothing exists.”

“Liar,” His brother said, and Kyle narrowed his eyes.

“Hypothetically,” He leaned his head away from Kenny as the other kissed his cheek, “If any existed I destroyed them. All.”

Joke’s on Kyle. Ike hummed, eyes flicking to the jacket by the back door. The same one he’d worn to the park with Karen.

“Hey Kenny,” He said, a smirk spreading on his face. “Check my coat pocket.” He gestured, and Kyle gasped.

Kenny was faster, letting go of Kyle and beating the redhead to the hanging coats, wrestling with the boy as they fought over the piece of paper. Ike laughed, watching Kenny hold the paper aloft triumphantly as Kyle said some _very_ creative things in reply.

“Kyle, shut up,” Ike laughed. “You’ll get our parents back in here.”

“Then they can witness a fucking murder,” Kyle said, viciously, as he fought with Kenny for ownership of the incriminating notebook page. Or seemed to. He wasn’t exactly giving it his all, and Kenny had one arm around his waist.

“Me or Kenny?” Ike asked, and Kyle didn’t even spare him a glance.

“Both of you,” He replied, and Kenny laughed, fingers creeping up Kyle’s back.

“Your parents like me now,” He said smugly, “I doubt they’d let you kill me at this point.”

“Hey, what are you implying?” Ike said, trying not to start laughing again.

“I’m sure they like you too, Ike,” Kenny said deadpan, and Kyle swatted him. Kenny replied by leaning in to kiss him, still holding the paper up like the goddamn statue of liberty.

Still in the new relationship, or Ike hoped Kyle wouldn’t be this okay with kissing on his boyfriend everywhere and in front of everyone for long, he pretended to gag.

“You know, you can leave,” Kyle growled at his brother, shooting him a look. Kenny kissed his nose.

“Let me read it?” He murmured, and Ike really admired the amount of manipulation that Kenny could wield. He was charming and he knew it, using his sweet personality and soft touches to make Kyle melt. Not to mention how quickly he won their mother over, Sheila adored the slightly quiet, sweet boy who offered to clean the kitchen and spoke politely.

Little did everyone know that Kenny McCormick was a manipulative, conniving genius. Kyle was biting his lip and Ike decided that yes, he really liked Kenny.

“…Maybe,” Kyle said, and Kenny immediately gave him the paper back. Kyle gave him a look, which was softened by the sweet, chaste smooch on the lips he gave the blond afterwards.

Bleh. That might even be more gross, actually.

“You done?” Ike said, and Kyle’s gaze whipped towards him, green eyes sparking with a challenge.

Nope. He drew the line here.

“Mom!” He called, in a voice worthy of their cousin, Kyle’s jaw dropped as Kenny howled with laughter. “Kyle’s making out with his boyfriend!”

-

After Kenny went home, Kyle nearly kicked down Ike’s door. He expected to get the tongue lashing of the century, but Kyle merely leaned against the door, arms crossed.

He looked comfortable, baggy sweater with the sleeves rolled to the elbow, curls messy and wild, and yet a very comfortable demeanor. Kyle looked relaxed. Ike raised an eyebrow, clicking off his tablet.

“Yep?” He asked, and Kyle just moved right into it.

“I just got accepted into an online college,” He said, and Ike’s brows skyrocketed.

“Whoa,” He said, setting the tablet down entirely to sit up. “Are you not going to university, Kyle?”

His brother scoffed.

“Don’t be stupid,” He said with scorn. “Of course I am. I’m just going to get some Gen Eds out of the way first.”

Ike narrowed his eyes, thoughtfully. Kyle was getting to a point, one he felt awkward getting to.

“Kenny’s going to stay in South Park until Karen graduates,” Kyle said, face tinged pink. “And so am I.”

Holy shit. Ike digested all this, impressed and bewildered all at once. “Ballsy. What’s Ma going to say?”

“Yeah, I’m suddenly feeling a lot better about breaking that to her, considering everything,” Kyle rolled his eyes. “Besides. I’m still going to university. In Denver.”

Not bad. “For what?” Ike said, and Kyle smiled.

“I’m still deciding,” He said easily. “But I’m certain I’ll get in, so I have a little time to think about it.”

Ike had to think a moment before he decided yes, he liked Smug Kyle much better than Despondent Kyle.

“Confident, are you?” Ike teased good-naturedly.

“Very,” Kyle said, and he looked downright upbeat about it. “I have a whole extra year to decide. And maybe something will jump out at me as I finished credits. Who knows?”

Bless Kenny’s stupid face. Ike smiled, feeling a weight disappear from his stomach.

Kenny had been good for Kyle’s mental state. Ike had walked by Kyle’s room several time, with the Open-Door-Rule it was inevitable to spy on some things, (particularly if one was curious) and several times he’d just seen them…talking. Most memorably Kyle with his head in Kenny’s lap, angrily ranting, while the boy listened and brushed his fingers through his hair.

Some things Kyle couldn’t tell Ike. And he got that, he was his little brother, and still a kid, what little he knew probably wasn’t the tip of the iceberg. And was Kyle cured of whatever this was? No. Kyle still got angry, upset, withdrew, but Kenny seemed to take that as a personal challenge rather than a burden.

He’d yank Kyle outside for a walk, or a date, or just sit on his bedroom floor and let Kyle vent. Kenny was a listener, and affectionate, and this was something Kyle needed. As months went on, Ike had watched Kyle really start to relax. He hung out with Kenny’s friends, reconnected with a few from his past. Last week a large group had gone out to the movies, Token, Clyde, Butters, Tweek, Craig…a couple kids from Kenny’s classes as well that Ike didn’t know from the old days. Kyle seemed happier. If he was happy with this choice, Ike didn’t care what it was. Sounded reasonable to him, anyway.

“And I guess you and Kenny are going to Denver together?” He asked, and Kyle colored all the darker. Guy really needed to get used to Ike knowing how crazy he was for his old friend.

“Maybe,” He said easily, brushing it off. He assumed that was the end of the conversation, but Kyle walked over to sit on his bed.

“Ike,” He said, a little awkwardly. “Thanks.”

They never really acknowledged Ike’s stunt, and the boy wasn’t quite sure what to say in reply to it finally being brought up ages later.

Kyle hugged him, Ike let him, sighing for show and feeling the boy squeeze him.

“I’ll get an extra year with you, too,” Kyle said unexpectedly, and Ike froze. “And you know, once I’m out of here, you always have a place with me. Okay? I’ll have a bedroom just for you. When you visit.”

Ike swallowed. He hugged his brother back, leaning into his shoulder.

“Anything you need, I’m always going to be here for you,” Kyle promised, and he seriously needed to stop or Ike was going to cry and it was going to be entirely stupid. “I owe you, after all.”

“Yeah, you do,” Ike’s voice cracked slightly, and Kyle laughed as he leaned against his brother.

Kyle was happy, Kenny was happy, he’d go talk to Karen tomorrow and see if Kenny told her yet that they were moving together in a year. Everything was so, so much better. This had been a good plan, and if Kyle owed Ike, Ike reluctantly owed Karen, too. It was her idea.

He’d worry about favors later. His fuckup of a brother deserved this.


End file.
